I just figured out that
the (run by men) Catholic Church is so against the policy of having to provide contraceptives to their employees under their health plan because some of those employees who are probably Catholic will actually want said contraceptives and then oh my God, the paperwork when the (run by men) Church has to excommunicate someone, OMG OMG! Also, they’d lose another member (from a Church that’s run by men and won’t let women become priests and all this other weird sexist shit because God’s a man I guess? Eve was made from Adam’s apple? Or Adam liked ribs? IDK), and we can’t have that happen over having to follow the law, so let’s declare war on the President and use that misdirection to whip up our fellow orthodox idealogues into an election year fervor even if the Republican Party can’t make up its mind on a presidential candidate, Catholics don’t have problems with Mormons amirite, wheeeeeeeeee! But it’s okay, Pope Benedict’s got an iPad and Tweets so at least we can say the Church is a little bit progressive, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, DON’T YOU DARE UNWRAP THAT CONDOM OTHERWISE HOW IS THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION GOING TO HAPPEN, and BT-dubs have you seen our healthcare benefits? They’re divine.
